I Have A Blog, How Odd.

Friday, July 20, 2007 @ 10:46 PM

I am a god-damn sailor

What if...skateboards are actually Autobots in disguise?

The kid on the the bike could be Megan Fox in Transformers. In which, she was an absolute firecracker. She rocks my boxer shorts.

I don't really blame the car for overheating. She's smoking hot. Period. And so among other things...
You ever get those scratch attacks? Where you just got this HUGE itch and it pisses you off? That happened to me the other day on my head while i was at Kinokinuya bookstore at Takashimaya.
I figured it was due to my gel which was causing my hair to scream. So off to the toilet i went to wash some of it out.
As i walked into the toilet i noticed it was empty with the exception of a guy who was standing towards the wall, his back facing me. He appeared to be writing something on paper on top of the towel dispenser. I found such a thing weird but i kept to myself.
I'm not really a big fan of conversations in the toilet. I simply walked over to the sink and started sprinkling some water on my hands. No need to gush out the water you know?
Just a few dabs of water should do the trick in getting rid of the gel. And it worked. My head felt normal once again and i could actually FEEL the gel loosening its grip on my hair. Gross.
As i walked out off the toilet and back towards the bookstore i noticed the guy sort of said something. I disregarded it and simply continued walking.
After a few minutes browsing through some graphic novels, i started walking up the aisle when i noticed a guy walking towards me... he looked like he had something to say. The guy was about 50 or so and he sort of waved his hand to get my attention. I walked over towards him and asked him what's the matter
He paused and said "You know! You should wash your hands after coming out of the toilet!" and he turned and walked away. I was baffled. Then it clicked in.
THE GUY WRITING STUFF ON THE TOWEL DISPENSER. It was him.
The problem was that he said this quite loudly and the people at the bookstore sort of looked over at me and they were disgusted. When people wrongfully accuse me of being a filthy slob in public it sort of irks me. So I chased down the guy.
"HEY!" I shouted as i walked after him. He at first gave me this pity wave like "Yeah whatever". But i pressed on... my image was on the line."I didn't use the toilet!" I said.The man looked over at me and raised his eyebrow. "I think i got the wrong person"
Damn skippy. Although i admire the guy for chasing down people and telling them to wash their hands. A lot of people need that. Especially guys. I have no idea how people can think of not washing their hands and go off eating lunch with the same unwashed hands.
Nasty.
If you're going to chase down people and yell at them for not washing hands then make sure the person USED the facilities first. Sheesh.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007 @ 9:39 PM

what do you mean no mohawks at the office?

Wham bam!

Woah...

Have you ever had to experience your siblings getting more religious? You suddenly see your brother with a foot-long beard. You find your sister, fixing a pink tudung on her head, in front of the bathroom mirror.

Ok, hold on. REWIND!

This is a ginormous change. I mean, forgive me for the portmanteau, but my home has just been invaded by a Dumbledore look-alike and a ninja! I feel so unholy. So strange. I don’t know how to act to this change.

That was me a while ago.

Now i’ve realized that there are things you should NEVER EVER (and i mean never ever) do in this type of situation. They are:

1) Do not tell your tudung wearing sister that the cute guy at the bus stop will now never like her. Big time.

2) Do not tell her it was useless getting the same hair cut as Hillary Duff because no one can see her hair under that tudung.

3) Do not tell your parents, as some form of practical joke, that your brother is joining Jemaah Islamiyah.

4) Do not try and compliment your brother by saying that his beard looks ‘cute and fluffy’.

5) Do not ask them if they’re feeling ‘hot in there’. Not even if you're that rapper, Nelly.

6) Never attempt to dye your brother’s beard green while he’s asleep, thinking it may become a wee bit cooler.

7) Do not enroll your sister for ninja training in Japan.

Experience man, experience!

Sunday, July 01, 2007 @ 10:22 AM

hold your horses and save the whales, you bozos!

Boy oh boy...

The brits didn't really see it coming didn't they?

Of course it's in the interests of both the media & governemnt to hype these incidents up out of all proportion, which they do without fail. The screaming media is hyping everything up and scaring the shit out of the masses.

They've made more fuss about a couple of bombs that didn't go off than they made of all the ones that did go off in London during 7/7.

Heck, this is nothing compared to what is going on in Gaza or Baghdad.

How many people are killed, raped, assaulted, mugged, abused, happy slapped, road raged every year in London. People should be far more afraid of these daily happenings than the odd car bomb every few years. Especially ones that didn't even go off.

Statistically, you are much more likely to be killed by a car that's being driven without a bomb in it than by one that's parked with a bomb.

The brits should feel totally safe in the knowlege that these so-called 'terrorists' are so amateurish. Gas canisters and gasoline! What next? Fireworks?

I feel more threatened doing ollies and kickflips on my skateboard and falling off it than car bombs that fail to blow up.

Maybe the ''terrorists '' should consider blowing up balloons instead.

Blowing up balloons are fun.