I am so dead scared of spiders. They creep me out.
I do not want to start a mass spider genocide or anything but i just do not like the way they walk.
I mean they are cool because spiders bailed out Rasulullah SAW in the cave while people were hunting him down but still, i have what is called arachnophobia, that is fear of spiders.
Other people are scared of many other things. I know people who are scared of rollercoasters. I make fun of those people.
While some others are mighty scared of birds, these kinda people are called Ornithophobics. I know a certain Ornithophobic. You know who you are. Wakakakiku gatal!
I also know people that are so afraid of tight spaces that they do not like the blanket on top of them because they fear the blanket would suddenly come alive & strangle them to death.
Above all, there are also people who are kafirphobic - fear of kafirs.
Kafirs are basically people who know about Islam but are not a fan of accepting it. It's normal to leave it at that.
However some muslims tend to get a bit wound up. They start screaming at anything that looks remotely kafir. You could just look as far as Indonesia whenever there is a demo against the US or Britain, the muslim folks would be be yelling & cursing, ''Die kafir, die!'' & ''Go to hell, kafir!''
Kafirs are not really that scary in true fact. Kafirs like to give out chocolates & goodies time-to-time so its cool to chill with them during Christmas or Chinese New Year or what have you. I dunno about you but that sounds pretty sweet of them. My neighbours does that all the time.
So WHY do people have kafirphobia? What makes people run & scream from them as if they are some sort of monster or jin? Nobody knows for sure, but I did some of my own research of the symptoms...
- Coughing, sneezing or sore throat while in a crowd of non-Muslims
- Dizziness when too close to a non-Muslim
- Massive stomach irritation when eating at a fast food outlet made by kafirs
- Extreme itchiness when using a product and/or invention that was made by a kafir
- Watery eyes when reading a book written by a non-Muslim
Kafirphobia unfortunately still exists. Even though the nurse that helped bring us into this world could have been a kafir.
Even the people marching with us against the occupation of Palestine are kafirs. Even when we fall off our bikes, a nearby kafir would come forward & ask ''you okay?''.
Not all kafirs are evil. Just the ones that say they want to kill us or something. Those ones are no good. But the rest are cool.
Screw kafirs eh? There are much bigger problems out there than "kafirs". I am not saying to hug & kiss every non-Muslim you see out there.
The problem is that we are scared of the wrong things. We should not fear people.
Just insects, rollercoasters, blankets & birds...yeah birds.
That Big Bird from Sesame Street scares the shitlights out of me.
Scarier than Barney The Dinosaur.
*runs away & hides under bed*
If you are interested in interesting blogs, trust me when I say that you will be better off reading something else.
You will no doubt prefer reading one of those Harry Potter books or even the nutritional facts on a cereal box such as cornflakes honeystars.
Because this particular post that you are about to read in this blog is not interesting at all.
And that is fine but the bigger problem is that this post is neither innovative, clever or particularly entertaining.
In fact its filled with one repetitive, derivative, tedious & oh so pointless points of crap after another.
Furthermore if you feel the need to read more than just one of these time wasting posts, you will do just as well by just reading the first 3 sentences & the last 3 sentences of the post.
The rest is just an appalling amount of crapping i would have to say.
So, why not stop now and find something less aggravating to keep yourself busy with. It would not be hard to do just that, would it?
You are still reading, are you?
Ok, i have already met my word count.
You read that too, did you not?
And yeah one more thing...
If a girl tells you that she's 20 & looks 16, she's 12. If she tells you she's 26 & looks 26, she's actually near 40.
Good morning to all the oh so lovable & non-sexy people.
Okay so a lot of people are sitting for their exams at the moment & this age old question has been bugging me for a while.
Everything that happens, happens for a reason right? If it's written in your takdir, nothing you do can change it, right?
Well then, that means that no matter how hard we work & try to prepare for our exams, we will only get the results which we're meant to get...right or not?
Imagine this...
Mom: *screams* Hardi!!! *blood boiling* 5 U's!!!
Me: It was my destiny, my takdir. Qadha & qadar Allah swt. No revision or coursework can change that, mummy.
Mom: Phew...and there i thought it was your fault.
Me: Of course not! Had it been in my hands...straight A's for you, mom.
Mom: Awww...
Me: *blush*
Well, it's quite simple actually. You gotta put in the effort to prepare for your exams & 9 times out of 10 the results you get will be a direct reflection of your prep.
Unless there are other outside factors that may make you forget some of the material that you learn such as lack of sleep, improper nutrition or too much nervousness.
Allah has complete knowledge of what results you will get but it's up to you to put in the effort.
You gotta make tonnes of doa & take what Allah has given you with a smile & if that's a ''U" that you got then erm...try explaining "qadha & qadar" to your parents.
But then Allah swt is Most Just in His Qadar.
So if you are not going to put in an effort & pray to Allah swt to help you get straight As then you prolly need a course in "mental well being & procrastination"
If Allah wants one to succeed even though one slacks off, He is able to do so. But we have to bear in mind that the right way is to work for what we want & pray to Allah.
But we can never say if we don't work for what we want, Allah will not give it to us.
If after you have tried your best & you still mess up then you can pass it down to Qadha & qadar. It would be great to use that excuse, we could get away with almost anything. Lol!
But if you want something in life you have to go out there & get it.
Allah swt is not just going to hand it to you, you have the choice to take it & if you want it then you have to work & strive for it...unless you have a photographic memory that is.
And Allah Knows best.
Kudos.
There are a lot of fools in this world...pompous fools i call them.
And pompous fools never fail to drive me up the wall. Ordinary fools are all right, you can always talk to them & try to help them out.
But pompous fools, guys who are fools & are covering it all over & impressing people as to how wonderful they are with all this hocus pocus bullshit. THAT, I CANNOT STAND!
An ordinary fool is not a faker. An honest fool is all right. But a dishonest fool is terrible!
And that is what I get at my workplace...a bunch of pompous fools that never fail to get on my tits. I could always name a good few pompous fools but that'd be clear cut backbiting.
And in turn i've always wanted to beat the fcuklights of those pompous fools & leave them hanging on a lamp-post upside down in their polka-dot underwear.
We are all average fools at some point or another but it seems the pompous ones have lost their ability to be introspective & self-critical that they wallow in their foolishness & exacerbate it.
There is no fool like a pompous fool.
I've spoken my mind.
Enough said.
The dorky side of me somehow wishes to write about VOWELS.
Yes...vowels.
A, E, I, O, U, Y
What's your least favourite vowel?
For me personally, i would so like to love ALL vowels with an equally strong passion. But then...I've always disliked that pesky 'E'.
The vowel 'O' is if possible the most repulsive letter in the entire whole English alphabet. Not only is there no proper substitute for it in Arabic (letter fathah waw sukun), it is also so bloody brutally deficient in its physique.
Not only bilaterally symmetric, but also radially. Gross! O! It can be a sentence by itself, but it could also in my mind be the worst of convo-killers.
Me: Guess what? I'm getting married.
Friend: O.
*shudder*
I hate U's but I love A's. I dont know why but 'U' just bugs me. I hate 'U'. Its just so 'U'-ish! Ewwwww...'U'!
*shudders again*
Dilz had a little request so all this is for your reading amusement, people.
7 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME
-I am emo-phobic.
-I own my own website, comekissmybehindyoufool.com
-I look good in spandex...just like Superman.
-I am straight...as in my sexual orientation.
-I can fart, sneeze, cough, burp and do a 360 flip on a skateboard all at the same time.
-I am extremely shy with people from the opposite sex. *blush*
-I grow soft lush facial hair.
7 THINGS THAT SCARE ME
-George Bush and his merry men *deadpan*
-Cows falling from the sky.
-Cops knocking at my door.
-Getting followed around by transvestites at Changi.
-Hyper-ventilating.
-Hallucinations.
-You.
7 RANDOM MUSIC AT THE MOMENT
-Hawthorne Heights/Ohio Is For Lovers
-From First To Last/Note To Self
-Strung Out/Analog
-John Mayer/Your Body Is A Wonderland
-MxPx/The Darkest Places
-Hidden In Plain View/Ashes, Ashes
-Lifehouse/You And Me
7 THINGS/PEOPLE I LIKE THE MOST
-My dysFUNctional family.
-My Guys & Dolls.
-Foam parties in the toilet.
-Blowing bubbles.
-People of the opposite sex. (who doesn't?)
-Waxing my beard.
-A board with 4 wheels.
7 THINGS I SAY THE MOST
-Intelligence is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
-Dreams are awesome like a cow wearing glasses.
-You lazy cow.
-Lame tart.
-Dimwit.
-Tits & Ass.
-Astaghfirullah.
7 PEOPLE TO DO THIS
-My hot neighbour
-The girl who lives on th 8th floor
-Wonderwoman
-Paris Hilton
-Zarqawi (Oh yeah, it slipped my mind that he's already dead)
-The girl who cried at the bus-stop
-Oh you sweet little thing
My Morning Routine
5:15am
- Alarm sounds
- Hits snooze button
- MOAN
- Goes back to sleep
5.25am
- Hits snooze button
- Sits upright
- MOAN
- Sis comes to wake me up for like 20 times
- She yells, 'Oi, wake up'
- Me yells back, 'go away'
- Lies back down again
- Sleep
5:35am
- Hits snooze button again
- Gets waken up with water sprayer by Mom
- MOAN
- Gets blankie pulled off by mom
- MOAN
5:45am
- Drag my ass to the bathroom
- MOAN
6am
- Gets ready for work
- Prays Subuh half awake
- MOAN
- Munch coco crunch for breakfast
- Look for my shoes & yet to be found keys
6:15am
- Get out of house
- Waits for bus
6:25am
- Bus comes.
- Scream at kids on bus to shut up
7.05am
- Reaches workplace
- Gets screwed by supervisor for being 5 min late
- I moan some more.
So i gave blood for the first time today.
I was a nervous wreck since i'm deathly afraid of needles, yet i survived somehow. The thought of giving blood freaks me out. Not that i'd be allowed to...
In a way it was fun as it was a large-scale event & there were like 80 staff who showed up.
Fun times. However the lady taking blood from me wasn't really in the mood for conversation.
Feeling a tad tired, i practically felt wanting to just nap right there & then when i lied down to donate my blood. But then i realized if i did that, nurses would prolly swarm me, start punching me in my chest & applying CPR on me thinking that i might have fainted.
"Life-saving techniques"...right. I know a beating when I see one.
It was interesting when i gave blood, the lady who was looking at my arms to see if i can actually donate told me that "you have real beautiful veins". And then I was like....why thank you.
Heck, to be honest she sounded like some vampire waiting to suck & feed on my blood when she mentioned i had beautiful veins & i was the helpless victim whom she was about suck the blood out of.
I also enjoyed the pre-injection questions & being able to answer "no" to EVERY SINGLE ONE.
Gosh, those questions were scandalous.
I was gonna say it deadpan "I'm Muslim...i don't do these things! Astagfirullah!" but I just ended up answering the questions anyway.
I wonder why we don't get freebies for giving blood. I only got a sticker that said "I Gave Blood Today". I would rather have got a sticker that said...''I Gave Blood. I'm Hot''.
All in all, it was a blast donating blood with the nurses looking so bloody hot in the nurses uniforms which i gotta admit diverted my attention from fainting upon the sight of needles.
In fact, i'm thinking of donating again in the near so distant future...not donate blood but donate actual organs. *faints*
Sometimes i'd lie awake at night thinking of all the stupid things I did as a child. With that being said, i've had a lot of sleepless nights.
But it's natural for kids to be stupid...but when you mix in things like the basics of Islam & stupidity, the results are hilarious. (as well as extreme guilt)
Naturally as a young kiddo (the age of 6 to be precise) we aren't held accountable for our deeds [we are basically angelic even].
Well, during prayer I always found it interesting that people said "amin" out loud after surah Fateha. It felt nice & soothing.
Sometimes i'd join in the prayer & belt amin out loud as well.
Even when I wasn't praying & could over hear someone saying Surah Fateha, i'd shout "amiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin" as soon as they were done with the surah.
People thought I was a cute kid for doing such a cute thing.
My family would host Taraweeh prayers where all my relatives would gather at our house on weekends. (this was before the construction of Darul Ghufran)
And as the host of the house i felt i should have the loudest 'amin!' during prayer.
For some reason I made up my own fiqh rulings & decided that anything that sounded similar to 'amin' would be permissable to say.
For some reason I shouted something...quite different.
Imam: *recites end of Surah Fateha*
Congregation: AMIIIIIIN!!!
Me [same time]: ICE CREAAAAAAAAAM!!!!
Boy, did i get into so much trouble after that prayer.
As I sit on the sofa,
I pinch my feet,
Feel my toes,
Looking for me,
The real me,
My soul.
Questions ripple through my head,
Who am I?
Must I grow old...Why?
And as day replaces night,
And night replaces day...
Night and day both over which we have no control...
Nature, people, internal organs, blood flow,
Am I truly in control?
Will my youth still be around tomorrow...?
Will my friends still be here tomorrow?
Will I be here,
Tomorrow?
I pinch my feet...
Still looking...
Ever wondered what does your hand smells like? Go ahead smell & don't lie.
*sniffs hands* My hands smell like dates. I was tempted to say they smelled like my date.
My dreams are weird & i thought my dreams were all rather obscure & chaotic.
I don't know. It was pretty weird i think. Well umm... i don't quite remember but it was weird i promise! Well, unless it wasn't weird then i won't promise.
My dreams are seriously completely messed up...they never seem to make sense, defy logic & have me or people i know doing insane things.
Like this one particular dream, where me, my sisters & Gandalf from Lord of The Rings & Hitler were playing a game of peek-a-boo.
And that's only the tip of the iceberg...i dream way too much.
Like yesterday's dream...
I had a dream that my school was being invaded by space aliens...then 3 tigers saved us by beating them up...then we had a party but didn't invite the 3 tigers...the tigers got mad & discussed a plan amongst each other to have their revenge against us...then they attacked while we were partying in the science lab. There was blood everywhere (but no dead bodies) as I got out...i managed to escape...then I returned to my school with my parents... AND it was on fire! Then guess who came to put out the fire? SANTA CLAUS!!!
Nutty dream & I confess...the tigers that i dreamt were cartoony tigers just like Kelloggs Tiger.
My dreams are awesome like a cow with glasses. I heart them like a cow that loves to moo. I love cows and if i ever were to own any cows, taking care of them would be a chore but i'll enjoy it nonetheless.
Mak cows!
