What's the one question in the world that we all know the answer to but insist on freaking asking it anyway?
I'm not going hardcore here...
But the question is "As a Muslim, can i go clubbing?" usually gets asked about oh, let's say 5000 times a week or something. Most ustazs have developed a standardized reply.
They sound like this:
Confused Muslim student: Ustaz, can i go clubbing?
Ustaz: No.
Confused Muslim student: But...
Ustaz: Clubbing is Haram.
Confused Muslim student: But...
Ustaz: If you go, you'll be Haram
Confused Muslim student: But...
Ustaz: Don't be Haram.
Confused Muslim student: But...
Ustaz: Shut up. Go pray.
I'm not here to give you a scholarly opinion. That's not my job. I'm here to tell you why clubbing are for people who don't really have much spunk in their lives which is why you shouldn't go. If you have an ounce of coolness in you you'd stay away from clubbing just as i did.
"But Hardi, isn't going clubbing the most amazing thing ever? Oh my gyad it's like the kewlest thing ever invented."
Yeah… i am sure its "kewl". But it's only cool for morons who have nothing else to do in their lives.
Exactly what's so amazing about it? Hell, i don't even know. Clubbing isn't that magical. And if they were then it'd be super Haram because black magic is a no-no.
"But I just want to go clubbing & hang out with my friends la, Hardi. LOL!"
Yeah, i'm sure you will. You are just gonna be sitting in the corner on a crappy wooden chair while twiddling your thumbs & thinking to yourself, "Man, this is so much fun. I'm glad I spent 300 bucks on a shirt/dress that's getting wrinkled right now. I'm not here to impress anyone anyway but i'm sure people will think i'm cool, despite not being able to drink, dance, smoke, swear & all those other Haram activities."
If you go, friends will indirectly pressure you. What happens if they offer beer?
I mean if i were to go, what if i got hit on by a hot chick?
So the question is... what ISN'T Haram when clubbing? Hardly anything. Clubbing sucks. And you will suck for going.
What can you do instead? Go out with your friends & have a good time. Anything with your buddies is more fun than the craptacular clubbing. It's cheaper too. All your friends going clubbing? Then hang out with your mom. Moms are hilariously cool.
"But Hardi, all my friends pressure me to go. I HATE PEER PRESSURE. *screams*"
This one is easy. Do what i did... play off the whole "I'm-too-good-for-this-lame-clubbing" tactic.
"Yo Hardi, you going tonight?"
"Where to?"
"CLUB MOMO! OBVIOUSLY."
"Nah man. I'm busy."
"TOO BUSY? WHAT?"
"I know. I rock. Next time k?"
Making yourself look busy makes you appear cool & "above-the-system."
We're too good for this clubbing hooplah. Spend your time doing something cooler. I hear Jenga is amazing.
