I Have A Blog, How Odd.

Friday, September 29, 2006 @ 4:48 PM

I think during Ramadan my brain works slower than usual.

The other day when i got back home instead of saying Assalamualaikum to my mum, in my mind I was thinking Alhamdulillah but I couldn't remember how to say salam so i walked up to her & said Allahu Akbar.

And today i was looking everywhere for my glasses to use the comp & guess where they were the whole time?

ON MY FACE.

Lately, been thinking of some excuses on why a Muslim would walk into a bar. Often times we'd automatically write this person off as a "Bad" Muslim but this is not always the case.

The purpose of this, hopefully will help me think positively of other Muslims rather than being judgemental.

So here some possible Halal reasons for a Muslim going into a bar. *evil chuckle*

I'll start...

1) He was playing football & he accidentally kicked the ball into the bar & had to go in to get it.

2) He forgot his glasses at home & didn't realize he was walking into a bar.

3) He had peer pressure from other white wannabe Malay Muslims.

4) He became sick & needed to puke.

5) Heard they were giving away free tickets to the Singapore Idol.

6) He was blind, didn't notice that it was a bar so he just walked in thinking it was 7-Eleven.

7) He went in for orange juice.

8) It was near Solat time & he needed to make wuduk fast...the nearest place being the toilet in the bar.

9) Asking for directions.

10) Thirsty as hell, needs to break fast, stops at bar for a glass of water.

11) He ran into the bar to retrieve his pet cat after it went into the bar.

12) He was having a terrible headache & needed some ice.

13) He was doing a survey on Alcoholism.

14) The bar manager owed him some money so he went in to get it.

15) He was walking past the bar when heard a loud scream of a woman in pain. Being the brave Muslim that he was, he quickly rushed in to save whoever was in danger!

See i told ya my brain works slower than usual during Ramadan.

Saturday, September 23, 2006 @ 1:06 PM

We all love Ramadan? Don't we all? Do you?

I do. Its my most favourite month of the year.

Why? Because i get to rack up some hasanah thats why. Its a month full of blessings.

Don't we all not want to make full use of this golden opportunity to gain taqwa or allow Ramadan just pass by us just like that?

I mean come on. For all we know this could be our last Ramadan. There is no flippin guarantee that we will be able to meet Ramadan the following year.

I'm not sure whether this is from an ayat from the Quran or from a Hadith of Rasulullah saw but it goes something like this whereby during Ramadan...

Pintu-pintu syurga dibuka seluas-luasnya, Pintu-pintu neraka ditutup dengan serapat-rapatnya dan syaitan dibelenggukan...

You know what i'm saying? I'm psyched up to tell you the truth.

I wasn't really that fond of Ramadan when i was younger. When people were all at the masjid doing Tarawih prayers, i would be at the basketball court playing football with my friends instead with our baju kurung & all.

If we were not playing football, we would be cycling around the neighbourhood or hanging out at the mall chasing girls when we were supposed to be at the masjid. No kidding!

Not only that, i wasn't really fasting right. If i was thirsty, i'll just pretend to go to the toilet & take wuduk but in true fact i will be gulping water down my throat.

So now as i get older, when each Ramadan comes i'll step it up a notch. I try to take myself to the next level in terms of the quality of my ibadah & fasting.

Because at the end of the day, its not about the quantity of your fast. Its all about quality.

Why? Because it doesn't make sense really if you fast during Ramadan but you blatantly & knowingly leave out your daily 5 times a day prayer. What's that all about?

Not only that, there's no use fasting at all if you are going to bitch, tell lies, get pissed & spouting out vulgarities like nobody's business ain't it?

Its all about controlling our desires, our nafsu. Every body part should be fasting, not only our stomachs...but heart, eyes, ears, nose, tongue, hands, legs. You name it.

All in all, Ramadan is a time for us to reflect, to seek Allah's Forgiveness for all the countless sins that we have done. Its time for us to get serious again in respect with our r/ship with Allah.

I came up with a doa list for everyone's benefit for anyone who wishes to practice it the whole month long.

Amalan pada bulan Ramadan...sunat membaca doa-berikut.

Dari 1 hingga 10 Ramadan: Allahu mar hamni ya arhamar rahimin.

Meaning: Ya Allah, berikanlah rahmat kepadaku sesungguhnya Engkaulah yang Maha Pemberi Rahmat.

The next doa...i read it all the time during Ramadan. If you really hayati the meaning...it can really move you to tears coz i did. It is also usually said out during Tarawih prayers.

Ashadu alla ilaha ilallah astaghfirullah. Nas alukal jannata wana'uzubika minan nar x 3

Allahumma innaka afuwwun tuhhibul afwa fa'fu anna ya karim x 3

Meaning: Aku menyaksikan tiada tuhan selain Allah. Aku memohon ampun dari Allah.

Meaning: Ya Allah, sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Pengampun, yang suka memberi keampunan maka ampunilah kami, wahai yang Maha Mulia.

I could go on & on about this Ramadan thingy. But personally for me, i tell myself to treat this Ramadan as if it is my last. Because you never know when death could come knocking on your door & i for sure do not want to go in front in front of my Lord empty-handed. Do you?

I'll end my post with this from Rasulullah saw regarding Tarawih...

KELEBIHAN SEMBAHYANG SUNAT TARAWIH

Diriwayatkan oleh Saiyidina Ali ra daripada Rasulullah saw sebagai jawapan
dari pertanyaan sahabat-sahabat Nabi saw tentang fadhilat or kelebihan
sembahyang sunat terawih pada bulan Ramadan:

Malam 1 - keluar dosa-dosa orang mukmin pada malam pertama sepertimana ia
baru dilahirkan, mendapat keampunan dari Allah.

Malam 2 - diampunkan dosa-dosa orang mukmin yang sembahyang terawih
serta kedua ibu bapanya sekiranya mereka orang beriman.

Malam 3 - berseru Malaikat di bawah Arash supaya kami meneruskan
sembahyang terawih terus menerus semoga Allah mengampunkan
dosa engkau.

Malam 4 - memperolehi pahala ia sebagaimana pahala orang-orang yang
membaca kitab-kitab Taurat, Zabur, Injil dan Al-Quran.

Malam 5 - Allah kurniakan baginya pahala seumpama orang sembahyang di
Masjidil Haram, Masjid Madinah dan Masjidil Aqsa.

Malam 6 - Allah kurniakan pahala kepadanya pahala Malaikat-malaikat yang
tawaf di Baitul Makmur (70 ribu Malaikat sekali tawaf), serta setiap
batu-batu dan tanah-tanah mendoakan supaya Allah mengampunkan
dosa-dosa orang yang mengerjakan sembahyang terawih pada malam
ini.

Malam 7 - Seolah-olah ia dapat bertemu dengan Nabi Musa as serta menolong Nabi Musa as menentang musuh ketatnya Firaun dan Hamman.

Malam 8 - Allah mengurniakan pahala orang sembahyang terawih sepertimana
yang telah dikurniakan kepada Nabi Allah Ibrahim as.

Malam 9 - Allah kurniakan pahala dan dinaikkan mutu ibadat hambanya seperti
Nabi Muhammad S.A.W.

Malam 10 - Allah swt mengurniakan kepadanya kebaikan di dunia dan di akhirat.

Malam 11 - Keluar ia daripada dunia (mati) bersih daripada dosa seperti ia baru
dilahirkan.

Malam 12 - Datang ia pada hari Qiamat dengan muka yang bercahaya (cahaya
ibadahnya).

Malam 13 - Datang ia pada hari Qiamat dalam aman sentosa daripada tiap-tiap
kejahatan dan keburukan.

Malam 14 - Datang Malaikat menyaksikan ia bersembahyang terawih, serta Allah
tiada menyesatkannya pada hari Qiamat.

Malam 15 - Semua Malaikat yang menanggung Arasy, Kursi, berselawat dan
mendoakannya supaya Allah mengampunkannya.

You all get what Rasulullah saw is trying to say? Let us not be some loser during this Ramadan.

Insya Allah...amin!

And yeah if you are all wondering what happen to malam 16 to 30...i'll post it at a later date.

Jazakallahu Khair.

What is up with Orlando Bloom in all seriousness?

Why does EVERY single character he plays in any movie involves either...

a) bow & arrows
b) being a blacksmith
c) being some whiny loser
d) all of the above

I mean come on.

Name: Paris.

Movie: Troy.

Loves: Stealing girlfriends.

Hates: Being in bad historic epics.

Summary: He's a prince looking for a quest.

Name: Will Turner.

Movie: Pirates of The Carribean 1 & 2.

Loves: Killing undead pirates.

Hates: Being Jack Sparrow's dog.

Summary: He's a blacksmith looking for a quest.

Name: Legolas.

Movie: Lord of The Rings Trilogy.

Loves: Shooting stuffs with his bow.

Hates: When people say he has a crush on Gimli.

Summary: He's an elf looking for a quest.

Name: Balian

Movie: Kingdom of Heaven

Loves: Commiting sin.

Hates: Getting owned by Saladin.

Summary: He's a blacksmith looking for a quest.

You see...i spent nearly 2 hours in the wee hours of sunday morning watching Kingdom of Heaven. Even thou the movie came out like ages ago, this is like the 1st time i'm watching it.

You see...i pretty much assumed that this would be another Hollywood movie that will make us Muslims look bad & i would have another reason to be pissed at Hollywood.

The REAL bad guys in the movie are the extremists on both sides who are so eager to go to war for some reason.

Like a ton of the folks on the Christian side were all Muslim-hating & wanted a war while on the other side of the fence there was this dude with a well-trimmed beard who was getting all up in Saladin's face for not having conquered Jerusalem by now.

So the moral of the story, if you have not figured it out...it is that extremism sucks & everyone should just get along.

However, i still found some screw ups in the movie.

1) Pretty much every actor in the movie could say 'Muslim' properly except Bloom. He kept saying 'Mooooze-lim' & it kinda made me flippin wince whenever he said it. Its like listening to Paris Hilton sing.

2) The Azan was playing DURING the prayer. The Azan is pretty much useless if people have already begun prayer ain't it? Dumb.

3) When burying the bodies of dead Muslim soldiers, Saladin begins to recite Surah Fateha. He says half the surah but then finishes abruptly. I mean what is up with that?

4) I don't really like people to get touchy-feely during prayer not stand so close to me, but in this movie they were like 10 meters apart and praying in congregation. I am not entirely sure why but come on...shoulder to shoulder.

All in all, i love Sundays.

You want to know why?

Cause i get to be lazy. Marvellous!

Annoying Prayer Habits!!!

I encounter them all the time...especially during Jumaat prayers.

Unless you got some extremely weird beliefs of this religion, you all prolly pray a few times a day or at least make an effort to try.

Prayer is cool...a time where we can actually have a one-on-one link with the Almighty Himself. We can either pray alone or pray in congregation ain't it?

Unfortunately praying in congregation has its downside. When one is trying to establish a link to God, there is always some moron that completely screws it up.

Depending on your school of thought, we should say Amin aloud after Surah Fateha is recited right?

Well, i do not mind this. What I do mind is people shouting Amin on the top of their lungs. That's not nice.

Shouting Amin does not make your prayer better. It just makes everyone else annoyed.

If you are gonna say Amin out loud, say it in a tolerable voice. Allah can hear all Amins, soft or loud, so do not worry about not being heard.

Then...

If there is one thing to ruin your concentration during solat, it would be those ''karaoke imams'' who are beside you & reciting the surah louder than the actual imam.

Hey man, congratulations on knowing the surah that the Imam is reciting but please shut up so I can concentrate, thank you.

Last but not least...

I truly wish handphones were around at the time of Rasulullah SAW so they could have been officially banned during prayer time. Why?

Because today we have a bunch of mongooses who think they are important getting called in the midst of prayers.

It is kinda alarming that in the middle of Surah Fateha all you hear is 50 Cents ''In Da Club" or some stupid Bollywood ring tone.

What is even more stupid is that no matter how many times i said "Subhanallah", the dude beside me will still not turn off his handphone during prayer.

Oh the horror!!!

An excellent example of pink being cute. *swoons*

An example of pink being totally uncute. *faints*

Oh my God! Please do excuse my rant about the colour pink. Maybe i need to seek professional help or something.

Oh boy, do i hate the colour pink...especially when sisters wear pink hijabs with matching shoes, trousers & jilbab.

It just looks flipping ridiculous...no kidding! And don't even get me started on brothers!

I was on my way back home from work when this brother, yes a brother with a bushy beard wearing a pink t-shirt emblazoned with the words ''You ain't a man till you've worn pink'' walked past me with a swagger that would put 50 Cent to shame.

Now i have not got anything against the colour pink but i do have an issue with people who think its cute for a 25 year old sister to be walking about looking like some giant candy floss.

Oh yeah, isn't ''a pink hijabi'' the muslim equivelant of a dumb blonde?

*faints again*

Maybe i''m being too opiniated for my own good...so bear with me.

Since today is 9/11's anniversary...i was thinking why not write about my thoughts on 9/11. My point of view that is.

When 9/11 happened, the media everywhere were starting to speculate that it was ''Muslims'' that carried out the attacks or something dumb like that.

Well, i disagree.

The heinous acts of terrorism against the World Trade Center were too well-timed & organized to be carried out by Muslims.

I am being flipping serious for once. I have been with the youth wing with Masjid Al-Ansar for like 4 years of my life & there are some cold, hard facts about Muslims today:

1) We are not organized enough to pull off a 9/11.
2) We are never on time. If there was such a thing as a Muslim terrorist...he would have missed the flight.

Apparently one of the terrorists was spotted at a bar b4 the plane fiasco. How did they know he was Muslim? Because he accidently left a Quran in the bar.

Apparently that is what we do as Muslims. We like to carry the Quran to clubs, bars, pubs & other not-so-Halal places so we can feel better b4 going on suicide missions. What idiots!

We might make some good villains in movies but in real life, we would not be able do any harm to this country even if we wanted to. We do not really have a good reason to blow up anything either.

Unless it is a balloon. Balloons are fun to blow up.

Due to some unforeseen cicumstances...

I have come to a decision that i will be taking some time off blogging this coming days as i have matters in my life that need to be sorted out.

Jazakallahu khair.